The congressional insurance cohort
finds a “public option” more dangerous
to the country than swine flu.
Do they see the government
as a giant monster that will devour
members of the health care cartel?
Probably not, they’re more likely
concerned that competition will attract
the industry-terrifying green gecko.

Ohio needs a board to keep food safe.
Treat swine flu vaccine as toxic waste.
Old folks may face federal death panels.
Cancer screening may be harmful.
No wonder America decorates lawns
with grave stones, spooks and spider webs.

The Times says sources call
Jay Leno’s new show a “failure”
based on the first few weeks’ ratings.
Critics range from ad execs,
who initially called it a “mistake,”
to producers who lost sales.
They have the same interest
in viewers as health insurers
have in patients — maintaining
their share of the substantial profit
that audience has been producing,
and, of course, restoring law and [...]

Many political problems can be traced
to gerrymandered districts in the House.
They could be solved in an instant
by switching from lines on a map
to groupings by voters’ last names.
The representative from Ohio Ce-Fg,
could recognize constituents and vice-versa,
computers could handle redistricting easily,
and best of all, everyone running for congress
would at least need to know the abc’s.