NASA investigators inadvertently
revealed the secret of one of our
rare successes. An honest mistake
told the world how we persuade
smart people to climb on top
of a rocket and go into space:
they’re fueled with liquid courage.
Outraged drunk driving foes don’t
realize astronauts can’t steer or brake,
and rarely see another spaceship,
much less a bike or pedestrian.
Of course, instead of strapping [...]

Tiers of overlapping conversations
fill The Dented Pail Beer and Ale,
but the guy sitting near the blender
still tries to chat with the bartender.
His charm makes daiquiri after
daiquiri take longer and longer
until customers complain and she
scurries to catch up on her work.
He’s grinning at his cell when she
returns and points to his empty glass.
He doesn’t nod or [...]

The right wing fear machine knows
it can’t sustain hope for victory
until a new president takes over,
so it drums up concern about Iran.
This creates the new strategy Bush
needs for Iraq: it’s no longer the
front line in the war on terror, it’s
the first line of defense against Iran.
The change from fighting terror to
Iran, WMD detection to [...]

In response to Republican senators,
who urge him to change strategy now,
the president gathered his advisors
and decided to change his spin instead.
He will try to convince the country
that he too wants to bring the troops home
eventually.
Since Bush doesn’t seem to have any idea
what is going on in Iraq, perhaps the
commanders in the field could quietly
pull out [...]

Hillary was never a shoo-in,
but she certainly had a chance,
until she decided extra visas for
Indians were more important
than jobs for Americans.
The companies saving $12,000
a year on the average worker
probably share the largesse
with politicians who support
their request for more.
Members of her Indian caucus
are also generous, they want
to spend visa fees re-training
displaced American workers ―
presumably to work [...]

It took a little more than six years,
but president Bush finally showed
a streak of kindness ― he refused
to let a man with the nickname
“Scooter” spend one day in prison.