Archive for July, 2007

27.07.07 | Comments Off

A Different Take

NASA investigators inadvertently revealed the secret of one of our rare successes. An honest mistake told the world how we persuade smart people to climb on top of a rocket and go into space: they’re fueled with liquid courage. Outraged drunk driving foes don’t realize astronauts can’t steer or brake, and rarely see another spaceship, [...]

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16.07.07 | Comments Off

Sending Messages

Tiers of overlapping conversations fill The Dented Pail Beer and Ale, but the guy sitting near the blender still tries to chat with the bartender. His charm makes daiquiri after daiquiri take longer and longer until customers complain and she scurries to catch up on her work. He’s grinning at his cell when she returns [...]

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15.07.07 | Comments Off

Quick Study

The right wing fear machine knows it can’t sustain hope for victory until a new president takes over, so it drums up concern about Iran. This creates the new strategy Bush needs for Iraq: it’s no longer the front line in the war on terror, it’s the first line of defense against Iran. The change [...]

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10.07.07 | Comments Off

Mission Creep

In response to Republican senators, who urge him to change strategy now, the president gathered his advisors and decided to change his spin instead. He will try to convince the country that he too wants to bring the troops home eventually. Since Bush doesn’t seem to have any idea what is going on in Iraq, [...]

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09.07.07 | Comments Off

Clinton Trades Votes for Visas

Hillary was never a shoo-in, but she certainly had a chance, until she decided extra visas for Indians were more important than jobs for Americans. The companies saving $12,000 a year on the average worker probably share the largesse with politicians who support their request for more. Members of her Indian caucus are also generous, [...]

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It took a little more than six years, but president Bush finally showed a streak of kindness ― he refused to let a man with the nickname “Scooter” spend one day in prison.

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