Archive for April, 2006

30.04.06 | Comments Off

Sincere Imitation Trumps Fake Flattery

Bush brought impersonator Steve Bridges to last night’s White House Correspondent’s banquet, and let his alter ego get the laughs. He may be sorry. The pair of Bushes beat the ace of The Colbert Report – and may drive the President’s sycophant off the air.

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29.04.06 | Comments Off

Musical Interlude

In the middle of the debate on immigration, between Bush and conservative Republicans, someone released Nuestro Himno, a Spanish version of The Star Spangled Banner. Suddenly Bush joined the right wing forces to insist that our national anthem be sung in English, an artful shift in topic probably composed by political lyricist – Karl Rove.

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28.04.06 | Comments Off

Leave No Moral Principle Behind

The House voted, 216 to 207, to send an “ethics� bill to the floor on Tuesday. Most of those voting against it thought it was too weak. One called it “pathetic.� Lobbyists must disclose what they do quarterly instead of twice a year, and bills will have to list the earmarks they contain, and identify [...]

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27.04.06 | Comments Off

Drip… Drip… Drip…

Rove’s lawyer says Karl’s not a target, just a helpful witness being cooperative – upon request. He testified to a grand jury yesterday for the fifth time, most likely about how busy people are often forgetful. Let’s hope Fitzgerald is not too preoccupied to remember why he started this investigation in 2003.

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26.04.06 | Comments Off

Bush Brings New Pitcher up from Farm Club

The decider got a new explainer to help his sagging scores in the opinion polls. Tony may be better than Scott, but unless he gets to deal with better decisions, he should have stayed in the minor league.

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25.04.06 | Comments Off

Poor Mary O. McCarthy

We didn’t mean to imply she leaked the secret about our secret prisons – she didn’t know that secret – but since she talked to some reporters without permission we decided to make her a fright-write (a scarecrow for the press).

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24.04.06 | Comments Off

Let Republicans Rumble

As Congress comes back to work, for about a month between recesses, Democrats should consider extending their break so Republicans can fight. First up is an emergency spending bill the Senate larded with such things as moving a railroad as a favor to gulf coast developers. Bush prefers the House bill. Next is immigration, and [...]

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23.04.06 | Comments Off

Now It’s a Crime to Report a Crime

The Bush administration thinks it’s okay to punish someone for leaking classified information about government’s illegal acts. They expect to break laws with impunity – why not? That’s how they got elected.

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22.04.06 | Comments Off

Never Too Busy for Something Important

Bush can’t do a thing about millions of illegal aliens, but he finds time to attack free speech. Shouting at a leader who condones torture constitutes a crime, according to the administration. They probably consider it practicing preemptive law.

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21.04.06 | Comments Off

Haiku

Of course no one new has joined the Bush staff. Who would want to step in that?

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20.04.06 | Comments Off

Disconnect

In today’s New York Times Bob Herbert reviews our ruthless, lawless treatment of terror suspects, while The Washington Post reflects on our inability, after months of trying, to persuade one Iraqi to resign so their parliament can form a government. Perhaps Bush should shuffle more people

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Bush seems to be getting ready to distract us by bombing Iran. Let’s fool him with a diversion. Democrats should propose a security fee – a charge on every imported container, truck and package – to pay for appropriate protective measures. Republicans hate to raise taxes, but increase fees all the time. $1,000 per container [...]

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18.04.06 | Comments Off

They’re Off!

If you’re having trouble settling into the gravitas of the next presidential campaign, read Dana Milbank’s account of the frontrunner’s initial press conference. It’s funny, but scary since his description of Mike Gravel is probably the most candid analysis of a candidate’s qualifications for office we’ll read in the next 2½ years.

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17.04.06 | Comments Off

It Pays to Look at Labels

Voting for a candidate, not a party, is like choosing clothes for style, not size. The majority party in each chamber sets the agenda, passes laws, performs oversight. Members of the other party, qualified or not, have impact only on television talk shows.

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16.04.06 | Comments Off

A Replacement for DeLay

Please stop ragging on Rummy. He shouldn’t bail out now that he can do some good – for once. As the symbol of what is wrong in Iraq – he provides Democrats with the perfect point of attack. His resigning can’t improve the prospects for ending the war quickly, staying can help improve Congress.

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15.04.06 | Comments Off

Nattering Nabobs of Nuance

We can’t be positive illegal immigration is the only reason for wage stagnation; we’re not certain carbon dioxide emissions cause global warming and melt ice caps; we don’t know if the missing drain plug is the sole leak in the boat; so as a nation we engage in debate, and await fate.

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Any doubt about Rummy’s staying power should be wiped away by the strong rebuttal of the criticisms of a half-dozen generals, who know what they’re talking about, by a President who clearly doesn’t. The Secretary of Defense is safe for now – unfortunately, the country isn’t.

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When Bush announced we discovered Saddam’s mobile bio-labs, experts had already decided we hadn’t, but they apparently didn’t tell the President. It was months before he acknowledged the faulty intelligence. To justify the delay Scott McClellan asserted, “The White House is not the intelligence-gathering agency.� Oh, that’s our problem!

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13.04.06 | Comments Off

Haiku

Our saber rattles. It is broken and Bush’s hand is quivering.

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12.04.06 | Comments Off

Equal Opportunity Exploitation

There are no losers in the battle for immigration legislation, activists may have different motivations, but a stalemate means everyone wins. Some desire votes, others cheap labor, or help for friends to flaunt our laws and improve their economic lot at the expense of the poorest Americans. Everyone benefits from the status quo – cheaper [...]

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