It is time for Obama to propose change again,
but this time it must be to him.
He should admit to wasting the last two years
on a futile search for bipartisanship.
He tried to meet Republicans half way,
ended up with less while still alone.

He should apologize for letting voters fall prey
to fear of deficit danger and socialism;
promise to end his polite silence in the face
of half-truths and outright lies; reassert his
vow to begin withdrawal from Afghanistan
because we have done all we can.

He should remind fellow Christians of their
responsibilities to the least among them;
quote scripture, recite the beatitudes, preach;
make liberals cringe. It is time to listen
to his campaign advisors. Washington politicians
have led him astray — at least that’s what I hope.

Finally, the president should offer voters a deal:
if they keep Democrats in control of congress
he’ll fight to eliminate the social security tax
on the first $20,000 of income, and remove the cap
on taxable earnings. That’s a budget neutral way
to help the economy and pay $1,400 for a vote.

Paul Krugman progressed
from recommendations
to cautions, arguments,
warnings, pleading and
finally despair. I would
quit reading my favorite
economist if he wasn’t
almost always correct.

Obama should listen
to Krugman and at least
try to keep Republicans
from leading us any farther
down this dark gravel path.
It may be too late for voter
approval this fall, but he’d
look better to historians.

The first two members of congress
to be tried on ethics violations in years
are black Democrats, members of the party
led by the nation’s first black president.

The speaker of the house, who let this happen,
promised be a reformer, to “drain the swamp,”
gets no credit from conservatives. They insist
this brave action proves her party is corrupt.

Unfortunately, this rare foray into self-discipline
will probably hurt liberal’s chances in November.
The only people who pay less attention to what’s
really happening than Republicans, are voters.

Republicans in congress
strive to prevent Obama
from accomplishing anything
by objecting to every proposal.

Conservatives will try to keep
this Democratic government
from functioning even if that
means making this a failed state.

Voting for any Republican
senator or representative would be
hiring a helper for Chicken Little
and The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

The daily dirge of the opinions
of people deprived of caller ID
declares the man elected to solve
our problems hasn’t done it,
so his party must be punished.

That simplistic decree is reported
again and again, convincing millions
it is gospel. If similar repetition
of the more complex truth could be
as effective, there might be hope.

Repeatedly reporting accusations
and giving equal play to refutation
pollutes public opinion, results
in polls fluctuating around fifty-fifty.

Given the fleeting attention most folks
pay to news, and their having to choose
between total bias and perfect balance, it’s
no wonder minds are rarely changed.

An obsessively bi-partisan president adds
to the collective confusion, so we will
continue to teeter until someone succeeds
in untwisting spin into straight news.

News analysis
is not a good substitute
for education.

Opinion polls should
need the same scientific
approval drugs do.

America’s way
of life is endangered by
the people who vote.

Don’t boycott BP.
If they can’t pay to fix the
gulf shore, we’ll have to.

Louisiana
loves oil royalties and jobs,
not anomalies.

Congress wants Barack
to stop the gushing of oil,
not contributions.

The status quo remains kaput.
Those hoping for inspiration are mad,
Republicans think Obama was copacetic.

Cool, almost callous, he described
the oil-glutted gulf as a problem
well on its way to salutary solution.

That told Republicans they’re
winning the parties’ philosophical fight –
government don’t do nothin’ right.

When creatures smother in crude
I want to ease the suffering,
keep it from happening again.

TV talkers want to place blame.
A problem must be someone’s fault,
so identifying the culprit will fix it.

Obama worries about gobs and jobs,
so he wants to resume work at rigs
in shallower water — where it’s safer.

Since this predicament was predictable,
we should get insurance and jobs —
require a relief well now at every site.

As for who’s culpable — politicians,
petroleum companies, and pundits are,
but Pogo has met the real enemy.

I fell last night.
My feet got tangled
in the exercise pedals
that sit between my chair
and the television set.

The skinned elbow
bled on my shirt, but
when my arm stopped
throbbing I managed to get up
and bandage it.

Now that I am getting old,
I must learn to listen
when my body
delivers a warning:
no more working out.

Laws might improve if
congress had a seventeen
syllable limit.

Voting didn’t work
so let’s try picking leaders
via lottery.

I don’t think God would
claim credit for this planet
or its populace.

Counting’s easier
than creating metaphors
or real poetry.

It is easy to see why BP
didn’t rush to release pictures
of oil gushing from its leaks.

That overwhelming video should run
‘round the clock in congress
until a carbon tax is passed.

It should be an equitable levy
on oil, coal and imports from nations
that don’t have a similar toll.

Some will say that won’t stop
the leaks. Maybe not, but at least
it will put them to good use.

One of my favorite restaurants is hurting,
so they jumped on the loyalty bandwagon,
by committee:

We’ll give a free meal for every five purchased.
That will make us memorable.

Won’t that cost a lot of money?

No, most people will forget to use the card.

The wait staff will give favorite customers
extra credits — punch two meals instead of one.

We can make customers stand in line
to get their cards stamped.

It will still cost a lot of money –
one free with five is twenty percent.

But it doesn’t apply to beverages,
a big part of the average check.

Oh. I guess that won’t be so bad.

Making salads smaller will cover it,
and no one will notice.

Except our regulars.

Both congress and cable news
had great fun cussing in quotes
before, during and long after
the Goldman Sachs hearings.

Committee chairman Levin used
the adjective form of the nasty noun
a dozen times in one long question,
often pausing for dramatic effect.

It was fascinating to watch so many
elected officials find a way to phrase
their comments to be vividly vulgar.
They said it, but they don’t do shit.

Since no one wants more taxes
we might as well enjoy
foregoing nonessentials.

Fewer schools and teachers
will let parents who cannot find jobs
keep busy schooling kids at home.

Crumbling roads will encourage lower
highway speeds, more restful travel,
and save lots of foreign oil.

Bridges that might collapse without
more fixing can make longer drives
exciting by adding just a little risk.

This future should be lots of fun
a frugal festival thrown by folks
who celebrate by drinking tea.

Now that Obama’s healthcare bill is law,
the opposition’s view becomes clear:

Insuring pre-existing conditions is fine.
Extending family coverage to 26-year-olds
and slowly shrinking the donut hole –
no problem, but don’t stop paying extra
for Medicare Advantage, and don’t
raise any taxes, anywhere, any time.

They believe in Republican reform:
buy now and let someone else pay later.

The census form arriving mid-March
asks who lived at this address on April 1?
Please respond immediately.

A few days later, well before month-end,
a postcard reminds us to complete the form
and mail it right away.

Maybe it’s a good idea to count expectations,
but better English would make us less skeptical
of more federal involvement in education.

Any member of congress
considering a vote against
starting to reform healthcare
should know there’s a place
in the brain where blunders
are stored until you get old
and have time to ponder
them the rest of your life.

Mr. President, you promised us
change, and it’s time to deliver.

So far you’ve stayed with Bush
in the Iraq, Afghanistan, and
Wall Street wars, surrendered
the high ground on healthcare,
detainees, and economic stimulus.

Your other campaign pledges
haven’t faired so well.

We knew you had your heart set
on bipartisanship and building
consensus, but we didn’t realize
you would pursue that aspiration
like a knight seeking the Holy Grail.

That’s passé. Tackle a real challenge.
Try to make deals with Democrats.